Humor and things



Things I like
Home Ask Me Archive Themes+


moistpits:

moistpits:

i was bored so i put this on and sat on my kitchen floor in the dark waiting for my mom to get home and when she saw me she screamed so loud the neighbors called the cops

image

hey look its me

Posted 1 day ago With 225,449 notes

You're a stupid nigger. You hate white people so much but without them you wouldn't have the McDonald's you so clearly love you fat fucking loser

@Anonymous

paranormal-blacktivity:

If it weren’t for black people you wouldn’t have:

  • air conditioning unit: Frederick M. Jones; July 12, 1949
  • almanac: Benjamin Banneker; Approx 1791
  • auto cut-off switch: Granville T. Woods; January 1,1839
  • auto fishing devise: G. Cook; May 30, 1899
  • automatic gear shift: Richard Spikes; February 28, 1932
  • baby buggy: W.H. Richardson; June 18, 1899
  • bicycle frame: L.R. Johnson; Octber 10, 1899
  • biscuit cutter: A.P. Ashbourne; November 30, 1875
  • blood plasma bag: Charles Drew; Approx. 1945
  • cellular phone: Henry T. Sampson; July 6, 1971
  • chamber commode: T. Elkins; January 3, 1897
  • clothes dryer: G. T. Sampson; June 6, 1862
  • curtain rod: S. R. Scratton; November 30, 1889
  • curtain rod support: William S. Grant; August 4, 1896
  • door knob: O. Dorsey; December 10, 1878
  • door stop: O. Dorsey; December 10, 1878
  • dust pan: Lawrence P. Ray; August 3, 1897
  • egg beater: Willie Johnson; February 5, 1884
  • electric lampbulb: Lewis Latimer; March 21, 1882
  • elevator: Alexander Miles; October 11, 1867
  • eye protector: P. Johnson; November 2, 1880
  • fire escape ladder: J. W. Winters; May 7, 1878
  • fire extinguisher: T. Marshall; October 26, 1872
  • folding bed: L. C. Bailey; July 18, 1899
  • folding chair: Brody & Surgwar; June 11, 1889
  • fountain pen: W. B. Purvis; January 7, 1890
  • furniture caster: O. A. Fisher; 1878
  • gas mask: Garrett Morgan; October 13, 1914
  • golf tee: T. Grant; December 12, 1899
  • guitar: Robert F. Flemming, Jr. March 3, 1886
  • hair brush: Lydia O. Newman; November 15,18–
  • hand stamp: Walter B. Purvis; February 27, 1883
  • horse shoe: J. Ricks; March 30, 1885
  • ice cream scooper: A. L. Cralle; February 2, 1897
  • improv. sugar making: Norbet Rillieux; December 10, 1846
  • insect-destroyer gun: A. C. Richard; February 28, 1899
  • ironing board: Sarah Boone; December 30, 1887
  • key chain: F. J. Loudin; January 9, 1894
  • lantern: Michael C. Harvey; August 19, 1884
  • lawn mower: L. A. Burr; May 19, 1889
  • lawn sprinkler: J. W. Smith; May 4, 1897
  • lemon squeezer: J. Thomas White; December 8, 1893
  • lock: W. A. Martin; July 23, 18–
  • lubricating cup: Ellijah McCoy; November 15, 1895
  • lunch pail: James Robinson; 1887
  • mail box: Paul L. Downing; October 27, 1891
  • mop: Thomas W. Stewart; June 11, 1893
  • motor: Frederick M. Jones; June 27, 1939
  • peanut butter: George Washington Carver; 1896
  • pencil sharpener: J. L. Love; November 23, 1897
  • record player arm: Joseph Hunger Dickenson January 8, 1819
  • refrigerator: J. Standard; June 14, 1891
  • riding saddles: W. D. Davis; October 6, 1895
  • rolling pin: John W. Reed; 1864
  • shampoo headrest: C. O. Bailiff; October 11, 1898
  • spark plug: Edmond Berger; February 2, 1839
  • stethoscope: Imhotep; Ancient Egypt
  • stove: T. A. Carrington; July 25, 1876
  • straightening comb: Madam C. J. Walker; Approx 1905
  • street sweeper: Charles B. Brooks; March 17, 1890
  • phone transmitter: Granville T. Woods; December 2, 1884
  • thermostat control: Frederick M. Jones; February 23, 1960
  • traffic light: Garrett Morgan; November 20, 1923
  • tricycle: M. A. Cherry; May 6, 1886
  • typewriter: Burridge & Marshman; April 7, 1885

BUT OH MAN WHAT WILL WE DO WITHOUT MCDONALDS :(((

Posted 2 days ago With 20,867 notes



toothpast:

mosebys:

nicki looks like shes fucking arguing with fans

image

but really

image

And this is why you can never fucking trust the media

Posted 2 days ago With 413,894 notes

What's the most illegal thing you ever did?

@Anonymous

almanzapedia:

At Stanford there was this Professor who was a total bitch and she taught British Literature, which was cool. Except she taught only her opinions of the books and it didn’t help me as a writer. I went to school to learn new things to improve my craft, not have someone else’s opinions carved onto my forehead.

So anyway, for our final project, she asked us to write a ten page paper on why the color symbolism in Othello was so significant. I did some research and it turned out that she did her entire graduate thesis on this very subject. I was mad. This wasn’t teaching, this was boosting her ego. SO I wrote a ten page essay on why color symbolism in Othello wasn’t significant, satirizing it to the point of no return, saying that her opinion was an opinion and shouldn’t be taken seriously.

SHe failed me, needless to say. So in retaliation, I responded by baking a batch of brownies laced with weed and laxatives and delivered them myself to the professor hours before her big graduation speech. I told her that it was a peace offering, my way of apologizing and asking if I could do anything to fix my grade.

She refused to fix my grade.

In the end, she shit herself on stage.

I didn’t regret it.

Posted 2 days ago With 195,805 notes